Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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