I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
