PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
