Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
