dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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