So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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