yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize