tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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