I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
