Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
