I wanna passion pit in your ass
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize