You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
