even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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