It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
