god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
