Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
