So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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