k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Sorry about my life...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
