Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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