he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
