Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
