I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
