This is not my ceiling
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
