Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize