listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
