I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
