Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
