my vag is so smooth its legendary
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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