i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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