Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
