And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize