I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize