You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
where are you?
Hypothermia
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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