I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
