I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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