Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
