I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
