Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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