I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
