bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
