How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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