To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize