There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
