I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize