and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
