put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
false alarm. still invincible.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
