did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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