I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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