i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
