i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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