Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
babies were throwing up all over the place
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
