u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize