I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
