is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
