Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
