lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
