More tranny stories later!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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