what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
