his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
