Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
