She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
