I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
