is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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