Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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