isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
