Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize