doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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