she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
