If that was your dad, he is hot
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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