I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
