Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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