grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize